Savage Press - Michael Savage

Writing Prize

2011-11-23T14:26:00.004-06:00

So honored to be getting writing submissions for the Kelly Culhane Prize. Very touching stuff. Tell your friends, if you would. By all accounts it is a good thing to write about cancer, about the arrival of illness, about the dark companion.

Nice Old Hub Cap

2011-11-07T06:28:00.001-06:00

What do you think? Is hubcap one word or two? It's a cap for a hub, right?

Excellent Review of War Memoir

2011-10-17T11:29:00.002-05:00

Got a nice website review of Bud Wagner's memoir. Click the link to see the book's webpage where there's some outstanding period photos posted of war machinery and people.

Here's the review:

Rating: Excellent.

Comments: A remarkable document, fascinating day-by-day account of a signficant segment of history. A "must have" book for any WWII buff or anyone with relatives who fought in this major war.

Submitted by: Ed Newman on 10/15/2011 8:34:17 AM

UNINTERRUPTED POETRY DAYS

2011-07-25T07:17:00.004-05:00

Diana Randolph, author of In the Heart of the Forest, and a talented, prolific, inspiring painter, used the phrase, "uninterrupted poetry days" in a recent email. I tried to conceptualize what an uninterrupted poetry day might be like. The concept seemed heavenly at first, but then became more difficult to imagine as I pondered it. What would an uninterrupted poetry day be like for you?

In the Spirit of Amanda Hocking

2011-07-21T12:53:00.004-05:00

Shipped 40 books today. 20 Devil of Charleston. 20 Spirit of the Shadows. Both penned by Rebel Sinclair of Charleston, SC. Shipped two BattleNotes: Music of the Vietnam War yesterday. Peeled a balsam log earlier this morning, when it was cooler. Made two 2 x 8 boxes last weekend. One for grease guns. One for loading / towing straps. A dedicated Ghost Burglar blog is coming soon. Here's a photo of a sign with a misspelled word in it. First to tell me the misspelled word gets a free book.

Ghost Burglar Interest

2011-07-19T17:10:00.004-05:00

Jim King, co-author of the upcoming True Crime book, Ghost Burglar, was recently on a wedding cruise (Not his own.) on the Chesapeake Bay and was asked, "What's your book about?"

His Answer:

It's a case I investigated for about five years.

The wealthy areas in and around Washington were getting hit hard by silver burglars in the mid-70's due to the rising price of silver. There were a lot of criminals doing this, but one MO stood out. Most burglaries were daytime, but these particular ones were in the evenings. They were distinguished as much by what was not stolen as what was. Whomever was doing the crimes took only good silver, jewelry, antiques, art, oriental carpets, and furs. No TV's, stereos, checks or credit cards. Slowly we, the investigators, came to the conclusion it was one person.

But that was impossible. This criminal was hitting three or four times a night, five to six nights a week and no one had ever seen him. He was like a ghost.

In the springtime these particular thefts stopped, only to continue in the fall. It was like he took the summer off. None of the normal police tactics worked. There were no fences, no informants, no witnesses, no finger prints, nothing left behind.

Over the years the criminal was getting more aggressive, maybe even cocky, because of his success. He began to confront people and rather than running, he beat handcuffed and even raped lone women in their homes. We investigators recognized this behavior from other serial criminals and knew he would increasingly confront victims until somebody was killed.

In 1978, from one of the raped women, I discovered that the criminal had a full set of false teeth. I remembered a police meeting from four years before of a similar burglar in the Richmond, VA area. I contacted a detective in Richmond and learned that a suspect had escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility, commonly called Dannemora, a New York prison. Prison records indicated that a man named Bernard Welch had received a full set of false teeth while incarcerated. I put it together.

Bernard Welch, followed the same MO in D.C. as the burglar in Richmond and also hauled his loot to out of state auction houses. I started contacting auction places up and down the East Coast. Welch was from New York and had sold stolen goods in Florida. That effort produced no results so I tried mailing wanted posters to the Midwest. I got one response from Illinois, but it was the wrong guy. I never sent anything to Minnesota, because who would sell hot stuff in Minnesota? It was at this time that Welch was arrested for the gunshot murder of famed cardiologist Michael Halberstam.

Welch went on to escape from an escape-proof jail in downtown Chicago and return to Greensburg, Pennsylvania where he resumed his life as crime as had done in New York, Richmond, VA., and Washington D.C. until he was again caught because he was double parked in a car he had stolen in Wisconsin.

The best line of Jim's tale was, "They all said they would buy copies of the book and read it because it sounded so interesting."

SWEET!

HOW IMPORTANT IS WRITING?

2011-07-14T11:19:00.003-05:00

Last Saturday I attended a modern dance performance in Duluth and there in the middle of the audience was Lizbeth Salander! Well, not THEE Lizbeth, but a clone of the Stieg Larsson character from the novels about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The real life woman was waif thin, dressed in all black, had short straight black hair, and a distinct owl tattoo on her chest. So, how important is writing? Well, it has the power to influence a woman in Duluth, Minnesota to get an owl tattoo, dress in all black like the movie character, and, probably ride a motorcycle. Earlier this spring I saw a Lizbeth Salander look-alike riding a sport bike down Belknap Street in Superior. I wondered if Larsson, in his most optimistic moments, ever thought his writing would be influencing young impressionable women in the Twin Ports of Superior and Duluth. I'm guessing not too likely because he probably didn't really know Superior/Duluth even existed. But I'm also guessing he did write with either the secret or acknowledged hope that his words would have huge impact. And guess, what.... They certainly did. Not only on two women in the Twin Ports, but on readers worldwide. So, if you're writing, creating words, crafting a story, plotting a plot, streaming a consciousness...dream...dream...dream. Dream that your creation will somehow, someway, someday, be a powerful force for good in the world. It is a good motivation to write with the hope that what you are creating will somehow be grand, huge, big, important, significant, meaningful, loved, desired, and widely praised. Go ahead and want it all, want the best, want the highest, want most. It's a grand thing you're doing, writing.

ALL ELECTRONIC BOOK

2011-07-12T07:55:00.003-05:00

Working with well-known local artist, author, businessman, Ed Newman, for the ALL ELeCTrONiC offering of his YA novel The Red Scorpion. Ed, like Wallace Stevens and Ted Kooser, works in corporate office by day and by night he is a painter, prose-meister, creator extraordinaire.

The Red Scorpion is part Harry Potter, part The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and should intrigue Young Adult readers, especially boys.

There will be no print version of The Red Scorpion. It will only be downloadable at a super-inexpensive price in the fashion of Amanda Hocking.

You can check out Ed's interesting, erudite, revealing, insightful, blog at:

http://pioneerproductions.blogspot.com/

I guarantee this will be interesting.

BOOK ACTION

2011-06-15T03:37:00.002-05:00

Lotta book action lately. Ed Newman is going to e-publish his stingingly good YA book, Red Scorpion. Query letters coming in regularly. Ghost Burglar is stealing along nicely. Dave Davecki is still in Quinlan with his newest adventure, Pony Girl. Where Memories Dream is camped out on the SPI bestseller list. Journey Into Joy happily getting placed in new giftshops. Shoulder to Shoulder marching forward. The Last Spartan is conquering all comers in the digital download department. DakotaLand's prairie schooner continues to sail with a mighty wind. All in all...good stuff, great stuff, outstanding book action.

SAVAGE PRESS NEWS

2011-04-07T09:38:00.005-05:00

NEWS TOO NEWSY TO POST ON THE WEBSITE

A new paperback edition of Pete Benzoni's Beyond the Mine is now available.

Diana Randolph's book of poems and paintings, Beacons of the Earth and Sky, is coming along nicely. Her daughter Kaitlin's cover design and section page designs are awesome.

Ghost Burglar Cover is done and looks fantastic. See the Savpress home page.

Jill Downs, author of Journey Into Joy, and The Awakening of the Heart, with her family, survived the tsunami in Hawaii. They did have to evacuate entirely for higher ground! Glad you're back safe Jill, Tony, and Liela.

Steve Coz (as in cozy) author of Where Memories Dream: Campfire Stories for the Boundary Waters, has a book signing May 1st at the Har Mar Barnes & Noble in Roseville, MN.

Shoulder to Shoulder, the coffee table book about Gareth Andrews' magnificent bronze sculpture being installed up in Virginia, MN., is at the printer. Yay!

SOON AND VERY SOON

2011-02-15T04:39:00.001-06:00

Eager to get back to Clare.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2010-09-03T11:17:00.004-05:00

As is my morning ritual, last Tuesday I walked to the upstairs rear window to look out and check the weather. Approaching the window, the horn on the neighbor's car honked once. There was nobody in the car. I stepped closer to the window to see what was happening and a little brown sparrow flew up and landed on the white pine tree branch two feet away. The tiny brown sparrow looked me in the eyes, chirped once and the presence of my niece Kelly instantly filled my being. I knew instantly and certainly that Kelly had died. I looked at the clock. It read 7:29 a.m. A half hour later Sister Joyce called to tell me what I already knew. Beloved Kelly Meier Culhane, daughter, niece, sister, wife, mother... after a heroic three-year struggle against cancer, had started on her new journey. Four days later I'm still stunned, and incredibly humbled, humbled to tears and grief, that one of her first stops on her new and irrevocable path was to say goodbye to her old Uncle Muk. From the bottom of my sad, sad heart, I say, "Thank you Kelly and God speed."

CHOICES

2010-09-02T06:41:00.003-05:00

Last night, wandering around Sam's Club trying to find out where Mary had disappeared to, I came alongside a no-nonsense looking mother and her two 14-ish daughters having an animated discussion as they wheeled their one-item cart toward the check-out.

"Mom! I can't believe you're choosing TP over me! I'm your daughter! Don't you LOVE me?"

"Honey I love you. Yes I do. But tonight I'd rather have toilet paper in the house than school supplies."

Sweet. Way to go Mom.

NEW SAVAGE PRESS TITLE

2010-08-18T06:12:00.003-05:00

Journey Into Joy, Duluth, Minnesota author Jill Downs' second book is going to launch November 11th at 5:00 p.m. with a party at the Bookstore at Fitgers. Wine, juice, cheese, crackers, and fun. Or as the Irish would say, craic! Jill's book is autobiography describing her idyllic youth, struggle with alcohol, soul rending kundilini experience, and her journey to a joy filled life. Part New Age, part Minnesota biography, all good.

PS: Writing Raised by Savages tripped me and I fell into a deep dark hole, so I've set it aside for a bit. Pony Girl is being read by a second reader...waiting...waiting. The first reader liked it.

First Draft Done

2010-07-13T06:02:00.002-05:00

Finished the first draft of the new Davecki novel last week. 114,000 words and 100 chapters. My goal to write two bad books a year is half achieved. It was a wild ride. Went places I never expected. Almost like wandering around backroads on a motorcycle, a new sight around every corner. Now, on to Raised by Savages the second draft.

New Davecki Novel

2010-04-19T20:01:00.000-05:00

Chapter 18 of a new Dave Davecki novel is done.

Irish Weather

2010-03-03T02:26:00.008-06:00

Interesting factoids about Ireland:

1.) For four days here in Cottage 10 it was warmer inside the refrigerator than in the living room.

2.) The shipyards in Belfast produced 22,000 ships in the four years of WWII.

3.) There are a lot of Savages in County Down. A lot. Most of them are dead.

4.) I've come up with a rather plausible epitataph for my gravestone: "He was widely tolerated by many and barely tolerated by those who knew him well."

5.) Ireland's surface area is smaller than Lake Superior, not by much, but certifiably fewer hectares in Ireland than on the Big Lake.

6.) Ireland's water table is predominantly above ground, residing mostly above ground and between the low gray clouds scudding past off the ocean at 600 feet.

7.) Irish pastries are damn near worth moving here. Not grossly sweet, delicate, deserving.

CHAPTER SEVEN

2009-12-26T12:14:00.002-06:00

Have seven chapters done that I consider good enough for Prime Time. Actually thought of a couple new chapters to write. One about my childhood fascination with, and love of mud puddles. This is a great way to end a year, writing a book and feeling good about the prose, and making progress, not perfection.

Chapter One Done...Again

2009-12-19T06:38:00.002-06:00

Might have 4,500 acceptable words strung together to make up a reasonably entertaining, reasonably easy to read, and reasonably coherent Chapter One. All the words may be spelled correctly and all the grammar may well be correct. One question, of a sort, remains: Does the story have merit? The answer? We shall see.

THE BEGINNING AGAIN

2009-11-21T06:54:00.002-06:00

After a time of curing on the shelf, it's been enlightening to get back to the edit phase of Raised by Savages: Growing up Wild in Wisconsin. So far the first paragraph seems to be shaping up. Ths may take a while.

THE END

2009-10-26T06:14:00.002-05:00

Experienced something I thought might never happen this morning. Stood by and observed as my fingers typed the last pages of Raised by Savages. 341 pages. 97 thousand words. Felt sad. Understood that it is a new project now. Back to the beginning to sift the whole pile like flour. Back when I was a lad, one of the jobs Ma gave me was to sift the flour she used for baking bread. We got commodity flour and most of the times there were little black bugs in it. They were the size of BBs or smaller, and hard and they cracked when I squished them with my fingernail. The new job with RBS is to sift all 97 thousand words and take out all the black bugs.

300 PAGES PLUS

2009-10-12T08:51:00.004-05:00

Okay, here we go. Another landmark. 300 plus pages of Raised by Savages done. Probably 200 decent pages. The rest need going over. Had an inspiring email from Guy Vanderhaeghe, author of The Englishman's Boy and The Last Crossing (excellent reads, btw). He said that most writers don's spend enough time with their stories. I've taken heed and am patiently (sometimes impatiently) going over the content again and again. I'm hoping the time and diligence will make it appealing and not appalling.

WHAT HUCK SAYS 'BOUT BOOK WRITIN'

2009-09-08T08:38:00.002-05:00

Having finished "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" as an assignment from a teacher who has read some of my new book-in-progress, "Raised by Savages," I found what Huck said at the end of his adventure ironic at best and discouraging at worst: "...and so there ain't nothing more to write about, and I am rotten glad of it, because if I'd 'a' knowed what a trouble it was to make a book I wouldn't 'a' tackled it, and ain't a-going to no more."

Almost 200 Pages of "Raised by Savages" Done

2009-09-02T10:27:00.005-05:00

Well, I've almost 200 pages of the new book done. 60,000 words. A short novel by modern comparisons. Two "test readers" have "suggested" that the narrative is too long. They kindly eschewed the word boring. So I've started cutting scenes out of the narrative like cutting calves from the herd. I've got 14 stories that seem to be acceptable prose.

I'm toying with the idea of sending one or two of the most polished stories to my agent in NYC to garner initial praise. But, of course, it might not be praise, so I've decided to keep on writing until it's done.

The photo above is a postcard of St. Joseph's Hospital in Ashland, Wisconsin, the setting for "The Ninety Dollar Baby," the book's anchor piece about me being held for ransom by nuns.

100 Good Pages

2009-08-06T16:13:00.002-05:00

Got 100 good pages together on the "Raised by Savages" book.

THE MIGHTY SPARTAN COMES TO KINDLE

2009-07-28T15:38:00.003-05:00

The Last Spartan by John F. Saunders is now available as an e-book from Amazon! They take a horendous chunk of money out of the pockets of the author and publisher just for the honor of participating in their e-venture. Sixty-five percent of the price goes to Amazon. Seems like a lot to me. But, as John said, when discussing the option of going"E," "I kind of look at it as any sale is good." We shall see if there are any sales, now that it is out there and available electronically.

PS: Since Frank McCort's death last week, I've been working extra hard on Raised by Savages: Growing up Wild in Wisconsin. Have fourteen chapters done. I felt quite sad when I heard Frank died. His story and his way of telling it was very meaningful to me. I hope he was working on something that can be published posthumously.

OUR FIRST FILM FESTIVAL

2009-07-24T07:06:00.004-05:00

In addition to writing a new book called Raised by Savages: Growing up Wild in Wisconsin, I've been working on a fun, funky, funny movie called Cooking on the Car starring Jason Wusso, Dan Dresser and Ellen Camry. The 18.5 minute video is so wild and whacky it is getting accepted in film festivals all around the country. This weekend marks the first actual film-fest showing at the Free Range Film Festival. "We've" been accepted into three other festivals and will keep you posted. In the meantime, go to http://www.savpress.com/ and check it out. There's supposed to be some video clips up soon for you to sample.

NEW BOOK PROJECT

2009-07-02T17:23:00.004-05:00

A week ago I got an order from Northern Lights Book and Gift in Duluth for four books, one being Raised by Savages. Trouble was, I never published it. I wrote a version of it lo these many years ago, but never released it. So, having just finished reading Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes and 'Tis, the synchronicity of the request seemed...well, synchronous. As a result I'm toying with the idea of re-writing and combining into one title two books that I wrote many years ago. I'd call it Raised by Savages: How I Grew up Wild in Wisconsin. It could be very sad, like McCourt's Angela's Ashes. Or it could be funny, like Bill Bryson's Thunderbolt Kid. The first chapter would be about me being held for ransom at birth by the flinty eyed Sisters of St. Joseph at St. Joe's Hospital in Ashland. I was known as the 90-dollar baby back then. Seems the bill for the birth of my sister had not been paid for four years. My older sisters had to roll my dad when he came home drunk. Guess what? They failed and an even more creative alternative had to be found to spring me. I'm thinking of starting Chapter Two with the line, "Dad wasn't always a drunk." Chapter Three: "I don't THINK I was born a sociopath." Of course I'll have a chapter describing the hot summer day in 1960 when John F. Kennedy bought me a glass of milk in Iron River, Wisconsin. But, still...I don't know...writing a book is such a pain in the ass, and the financial pay-off is so minimal. Hmmm. What do you think? Should I go for it?

Savage Press - Michael Savage: FIRST CHAPTER OF NLM POSTED

2009-06-25T10:20:00.000-05:00

http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=98Savage Press - Michael Savage: FIRST CHAPTER OF NLM POSTED

FIRST CHAPTER OF NLM POSTED

2009-06-25T10:15:00.005-05:00

If you're interested in reading the first chapter of Lori J. Glad's second Duluth novel, Northern Lights Magic, I've posted it on her book's webpage at:

http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=98

Howard Jones Tribute Poem

2009-06-17T14:39:00.002-05:00

A prairie man.
Tall as June days.

A cabin log,
hand hewn from pioneer stock.

Crowned with silver.

A water man.
Fishing every ocean
and lake
and river
and coffee cup,
for that elusive catch,
JOY.

A book man.
Reading and
writing into the pages,
and into the night.

A word man.
A fish in water.
A noon beer at Coyote Ugly.

A strong cable across
the homestead's long driveway.
Protector of sod-house-dreams and
lifetimes of labor.

A battler against the elements,
cancer,
the status quo.

A river man.
Portraiting the mighty Mississip.
Mighty cousins, both.

A tall tree rising above the others.

THANK YOU HOWARD

2009-06-15T06:59:00.003-05:00

A great man has passed away. Howard Jones, author of two Savage Press, books left us last night. He was a great, great man, a mentor, a friend, and a source of inspiration. He is missed. I loved him like a father. He will be missed. http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=139

MINNESOTA ENVY

2009-06-10T08:06:00.004-05:00

A Senate Race of Our Own

I wish Wisconsin had an eternal senate race of our own.

That Dang Minnesota. They always get the good stuff.

Minnesota got Rich Gannon for a quarterback in 1992. What did Wisconsin get? That crappy
Brat Favre.

Minnesota got idealist Hubert Humphrey. We got mean Joe McCarthy.

Minnesota got the exotic and elegant loon. We got the lowly robin.

Wisconsin did win one. Minnesota got the gopher. Wisconsin the badger.
Badgers…now that’s a bad ass state animal. Way better than a gopher. What state in its right mind would want a gopher as a state animal?

Oh, I don’t know….how about a state that can’t pick a senator? I’m guessing that any state that selects the gopher as its state animal deserves to have a perpetual senate race.

You know what I wish? I wish Wisconsin’s most famous actor, Orson Wells, who was born in Kenosha, would challenge Herb Kohl or Russ Feingold in an election. That would be newsworthy enough to rid the world of Minnesota’s attention grabbing eternal senate race.

Oh, I forgot…Orson Wells is dead. But then, so is Norm Coleman. So what’s the diff?

That Minnesota. They get the good governors too, like that awesome politician and diplomacy icon, Jesse “The Body” Ventura” who wants to waterboard Dick Cheney. Wisconsin got Tommy Lafollette or was it Robert Thompson. I can’t recall…some governor….oh yeah, now I remember. Wisconsin got Nelson Dewey that famous governor who came up with the Dewey Decimal system that the whole world (except the United States) uses as a system of measurement. I may be a millimeter off on this one.

So, there you have it, I’ve got a serious case of Minnesota envy. I should just move to Minnesota and get it over with. Put an end to my miserable Wisconsin residency.

But I just can’t do it. I just love living in a land where the last word in the state is sin.

Life is good. Let’s make it better. I’m Savage, and I’m done.

PUBLISHING CIRCUMSTANCE

2009-06-05T09:32:00.004-05:00

Here's how it goes in publishing sometimes.

Got an interesting query letter from a fellow in Michigan. He has a "railfan" book about Michigan railroads. I was curious, interested in looking at the work. As I was on the road working, I'd opened his query in webmail and didn't delete it with all the SPAM that floods in. Today, back in the office, I looked for his email...not there.

Sometimes the circumstances of publishing can derail a plan. A letter gets lost. An email gets deleted by mistake. I remember Tony Jelich of Solon Springs, Wisconsin stopped by the office to talk to me about publishing his book, Stop and Smell the Cedars. I was out getting the mail. He went directly to Arrowhead Printing in Superior and gave them the disk to have the book printed up. It was a good book. It is a good book. I would have liked to publish it.

But for a trip to the post office.

So, the morel (I've been looking for mushrooms lately) of the story is: Don't feel too discouraged when a publisher or editor does not show interest in your work. It may be that she/he deleted your email accidentally, or the envelope fell between the wall and the desk, or the dog ate it.

Keep pitching your ideas. Be relentless. Back in the day, when I was freelancing in a big way, I had a bon mot taped to my wall: 10% INSPIRATION. 90% PERSPIRATION.

Keep on keeping on. And, if you know a railfan author from Michigan who might have queried Savage Press recently, do your part to get us reconnected, please.

BEAUTY BOOK LAUNCH

2009-05-22T07:32:00.003-05:00

Went to a beauty book launch Wednesday at St. Mary's Hospital in Duluth, sponsored by SMDC Grief Support and Holy Cow Press. Click on the ALL CAPS title above to view the Holy Cow website and check out their new title Beloved on the Earth: 150 Poems of Grief and Gratitude. What made the event beautiful for me was the celebration of poetry. Poets read. Editors commented. Sponsors incited interest and awe. There were 60 people present and books were bought, autographed, and held sacred. It was enough to make a publisher and poet want to weep. Thanks Jim for doing good.

Great Book Review

2009-05-06T05:55:00.002-05:00

Finished a great book. The March by E.L. Doctorow. About Sherman's march to the sea during the Civil War. Outstanding descriptions. Exceptionally vivid characters. Masterful multiple viewpoint storytelling. Vocabulary expanding word choices. Reading this book was like going to war but being safe and warm and well rested. A real gift from a talented caring author to a reader hungry for delicious prose that satisfies.

DIRTY OLD SOCKS

2009-04-23T12:16:00.003-05:00

Had fun with the Middle Schoolers at that workshop last week. Went to the winter sock drawer and pulled out a dozen heavy old socks from my logging days and dropped various objects inside. Passed them around and heard a lot of "Ewwwws!" and "Yukkkks!" I assured them they were freshly laundered and that they wouldn't get any cooties from inserting their hands therein. The writing exercise was to describe the hidden object in twelve words or more. Pretty interesting. Some students wrote two paragraphs. Some could barely get five words down. Some descriptions were general and vague. Some were highly specific. All were entertaining. It was fascinating to watch hands go into Dirty Old Socks and see words come out.

MIDDLE SCHOOL WRITERS

2009-04-21T09:54:00.005-05:00

"Taught" a workshop last Friday. Eleven middle-school writers. What actually happened was, they taught me. Sure I led the discussion. Sure I provided some writing exercises. Sure I knew more about writing than they did. But, guess what? They taught me more than I taught them. The taught me to be enthused about writing. They were gung ho about their words. They read their poems with pride and gusto. They didn't defend their work. They didn't whine about being unpublished. They just wrote what they wrote and read what they read. As they say on the dragstrip, "They run what they brung." Exceedingly refreshing. Thanks folks. You made my day. my week, my month.

On another note. If you want to see an interesting site, visit http://mariahartmysteries.blogspot.com/ Chris Forman is an excellent writer, the real deal.

Finally...any chance you'd be willing to refer someone to follow this blog? It's a numbers game and I enjoy seeing the followers list grow. I keep inviting folks. They say they'll follow, but then they never sign up. Maybe you'd have better luck. It's easier on Facebook. But this is the SPI blog and I'm supposed to "build" it. Why? Because I'm the publisher.

THE WRITER IS GOD

2009-04-16T04:57:00.004-05:00

Been in touch the last couple of weeks with Melissa Ellefson of Duluth, Minnesota. She's a writer who is crafting a compelling life story. You see, Melissa was a drunk. A drunk of Jim Frey proportions. Her first three chapters were captivating. She effectively communicated her craving, her outlandish need for booze, her compulsion. And she describes some pretty out there behavior. Trouble is, the book's not done. She want's a publisher to "believe" in her writing, to use her word.

So, there you have it. Who is going to have faith in this situation?

She wants me to believe in her story, offer to publish it, and go forth into the cold, cruel, world of mayhem known as publishing a book, so that she can continue writing with a guarantee.

Okay, scene change...

My basement. The "warehouse" for 20,000 some odd Savage Press books that have not sold in the last 20 years. I'm looking for a book that we published in 1997. Someone want's five copies. What has driven me into the catacombs to battle a bizillion dust mites with only two partially functioning nostrils? Someone wants five copies of a book that was published 12 years ago. Oh my frikking God! A customer!! An actual paying customer!!!

Okay, maybe I should be writing daytime drama. But, there you have it. Who is going to have faith in a book? It starts with the author writing, without (for the most part) assurance that their story will ever be read. Maybe, if the writer is lucky and the publisher is a blind man searching around in his dark basement for five copies amid 20,000, just maybe, five readers out there in the world of millions and millions of readers, will have the good fortune of getting their need to read met by that blind man.

And the writer? The writer will have passed away years ago never having known that his work would someday be in "popular" demand by five souls still living and breathing and having their being on this plane of existence.

So, there you have it again. Faith. Who has the most faith? From whence cometh faith?

Two words, friends. Two words to the four people who follow this blog.

THE WRITER.

John 1:14 says that the word became flesh and dwelt among us. The WRITER makes the word flesh and it dwells among us. Not the publisher. Not the reader.

THE WRITER

The Old Forge Press

2009-04-13T10:26:00.005-05:00

Met an interesting guy in Ireland named P.J. Curtis, musician, musicologist, author. He lives in the old, old, old, house handed down to him from generations ago. I'd read his book, The Lightning Tree, a fascinating account of life in Ireland before the Celtic Tiger. The book reports on all the old ways, the healing, the herbalism, the mysticism, the "Hunger," the religious abuse. P.J.'s father was the village of Kilnaboy's blacksmith...hence the name, The Old Forge...and did not approve of the boy's love of reading and music, so, at sixteen years young, the boy ran away to, of all places, Liverpool where he played in the era when the Beatles were learning their music. P.J. is a real fascinating guy. The photo is of him holding forth while seated in the hearth of his "loovly, loovly" home filled with ancient artifacts. Visiting his site is pretty informative. The URL is above

chicagocandy: Aly & Candy Duet

2009-04-10T06:29:00.000-05:00

chicagocandy: Aly & Candy Duet

A SIGN THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE

2009-04-08T16:07:00.003-05:00

Hey, sometimes it just make snese to leave the misteak bee. Purposful earerrs kan gather mucho extension & evn chrarm yer reeders. Lik dis sign...

Cents whren does white pines eat dear? I din't no dat pie-ens were carnivvrous even.

CANDY FRASER GUEST POSTING

2009-04-06T12:11:00.002-05:00

This clock is a great reminder that anytime is a good time to read!

I took this picture outside a bookstore on Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts which reminded me that there's so much to read, but so little time to do it.

I'm staying with a friend who owns more books than anyone I know. The house is filled with books of every genre. Bookcases are in every room, neatly stacked with titles ranging from out-of-print collector's items to New York Times bestsellers. Because he was getting over-run with so many volumes, when the Kindle first came out, he was one of the first to pre-order it and is now on the 2nd generation Kindle which he loves even more. Greater storage means more books to read.

But even with the electronic technology available today, nothing compares to holding a real book in your hands and turning the pages.

A restaurant called Cafe Moxie was next to the Bunch of Grapes Bookstore and it burned down last Fourth of July, also devastating the bookstore. Bunch of Grapes, a Vineyard establishment since 1975 has moved to another temporary building nearby which I visited today. I learned that the clock had been stopped at 9:57 am on July 4 since the power went out on Main Street in Vineyard Haven. It was repaired, synced by satellite, and started ticking again on October 22, 2009.

It's a reminder that even though the economy is not great, the conventional wisdom that independent booksellers are a dying business doesn't have to be true. It's also a symbol that the town will once again be moving forward.

The bookstore is due to re-open in a few months and the owner is optimistic that it will be better than ever with an interior that is bound to bid customers to sit and read for a while in new comfortable chairs and a sofa with a book in hand. The owner says she feels confident that the bookstore will continue to flourish because they're living on a very literary Island in a very literary society where people still value the printed word. When Bill Clinton was president, the Island was a favorite vacation spot and he liked going to Bunch of Grapes. They had to close the store down for security purposes so he could browse the books like an ordinary man. The people who were in the bookstore at the time, didn't mind being locked in for a while and ignored him. Then after a while, he went up to someone and said, "Don't you know who I am?" and shook hands with them. Once a politician, always a politician.

Reading takes time, but when you read a good book, it's so rewarding. You appreciate the author's efforts as well as the enjoyment you get out of a good story whether it's fiction or non-fiction. It does something to your brain to make you want to read more books by the same author or the same subject. Like an addiction, books are so pleasurable. It's a good, healthy addiction though.

Keep buying and keep reading!

INTERNET NEEDY

2009-04-04T05:55:00.002-05:00

Been interesting the last day or two, having no access to the blog. I was trying to post a guest blog by Candy Fraser and it wouldn't propagate. Contacted Wizard Larry who went to work on the problem. In the meantime I found it instructive to observe how important the Internet is to me. Even if it is minimally true, I believe people out there are "listening" to my posts. Here's what's important:

I have a voice.

I speak.

People listen.

So, there you have it, the essence of writing.

Think about it.

PS: Sorry about the delay, Candy. I'll get your words and photos up next week ASAP.

WRITE ON REGARDLESS

2009-03-26T11:46:00.002-05:00

There's a car race in the U.P. over by Houghton called P.O.R. Stands for Press On Regardless. No matter the mud hole, no matter the break downs, no matter the weather, the race goes on and the racers press on, regardless. It is sort of like the Baja 1000. You gotta go and you gotta run what you brung. So it is with writing. Last January 8th I started another Dave Davecki novel. Death by Cadillac. I "finished" it a couple of weeks ago because I was bored and frustrated with the story. But this morning, I opened the file again and started "fixing" things. After a time away from the story, the tale was fun again. I'm reading the chapters out loud into my laptop and playing them back to listen to the sound of the sentences, to see if the flow is smooth and easy to digest. It's fun to discover awkward sentences and unlikely dialogue and entertaining to "fix" them up. So it is with writing, no matter the mud hole of boredome, no matter the frustration of first drafting, no matter the doubt about the suitability of the sentences, you gotta go back to writing and you gotta run what you brung. Remember, a blank page can't be edited. Keep Writing.

A MILLION TIMES MORE MIRACULOUS

2009-03-15T06:21:00.004-05:00

Hard to believe I was in Ireland a week ago. There was a play put on by the local people in a village there. It was staged in a parish hall that had fallen on very tough times. Huge slabs of paint had cracked off and fallen away from the walls. The men's room stall had no toilet seat, broken furniture was stacked in the corners. But, you know what? There were over 100 people there and the play was totally outstanding. There were women crying in the audience at the end. It was really a joy to be there. It was a great gift from the actors, the community. There is nothing so genuine as a village. I've experienced such rock bottom, rock-ribbed human joy in village Alaska too. Oh the pure goodness of human endeavor to create beauty in the midst of reality. There is something truly Godlike in art that comes from poverty and love and the basic determination to create regardless of status. The ability to produce and enjoy art that is "less than perfect" is something New York publishing and TV and Hollywood and Broadway rarely, rarely offers, because, I think, wealth's particular brand of beauty is exponentially removed from the beauty of everyday, normal, "lowly" if you will, existance. Hollywood is Hollywood and we are just us and we "down here in the trenches" are a million times more miraculous than slick books and polished television and big budget movies. Thank God the Bible says the first shall be last and the last shall be first, for, I'm believing today, that the greatest art is in the humble.

HONORING BOOKS AND AUTHORS

2009-03-06T02:29:00.005-06:00

I'm finding the newspaper content here in Ireland to be much more literary in slant. It's also more informal and it is more...what can I say...vulgar? Earthy? Bare breasted women on page two could be called earthy I suppose. Using fuck on page one but ***in out cocksucker in the same paragraph could be called earthy I suppose. I've also seen that books have higher regard over here. I'm attending a book festival in Ennis and it seems there is a lot of devotion to the book...the non-electric kind. (Kindle's got its work cut out for it here.) I'm guessing there is more devotion to the book in NYC than there is in Superior, Wisconsin where the last word in the state is SIN, so I can't complain too much when I feel like my corner of the world eschews books for beer. But it is nice to be in a society where authors and books are more revered than cheese and brats. Though, one downside to the reverence is the faint aroma of snobbery now and then. All in all though, it is fun to be living and moving and having breath in a more book oriented, word oriented society. Keep writing.

Mike Savage - Savage Press: George Bernard Shaw

2009-03-02T01:59:00.000-06:00

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=55094456151
Mike Savage - Savage Press: George Bernard Shaw

George Bernard Shaw

2009-03-02T01:42:00.004-06:00

George Bernard Shaw comes to mind this morning. He said, and I quote this loosly I'm sure, "It has taken me twenty years to become dumb enough to entertain the English." This brings to mind the Robert Frost quote, "Any damn fool can start a poem. It takes a poet to end one." These quotes...why are they coming to me this early morning in Ireland? All that suggests itself is...what is the role of ego in the writer's life? I'm of the opinion that 99.9 percent of my writing will never be read. It's almost entirely digitized. A massive EMP would wipe out my hard drives, my back-ups (few that there are), and all the emails I've ever written. I'm writing for the joy of it. Writing for the entertainment it provides. Writing to give my fingers something to do. I'm reminded of the printer who was asked why he went into printing. "Because I like the smell of ink," he answered. Why are you writing? To preserve a history? To create a history? To salve a wound? To entertain? To get revenge? To be adored? To become rich? To heal? To teach? To worship? To be worshipped? To learn to spel? To make a joke? To see if there's anyone out there who is as clever as you? Maybe it is all about ego. Maybe that isn't a bad thing. Write on.

NOTHING TO DECLARE BUT "WILDE"NESS

2009-02-27T19:53:00.004-06:00

Oscar Wilde, was asked if he had anything to declare when entering the U.S. and processing through Customs. "Nothing but my genius," he answered. You have genius inside you. Access it. Write it. Enjoy it. Bask in your genius. Say it with Wilde...say it out loud to yourself, "I have only my genius to declare."

The Old Ground

2009-02-25T17:44:00.002-06:00

Here's what's fantastic tonight. Today I was in the same pub that W.B. Yeats frequented when he was alive and becoming one of Ireland's brightest literary lights. The Old Ground pub in Ennis. Creaky pine parque' flooring, dark smoke-stained woodwork, old photos of past masters like Yeats, and Shaw, and Wilde. Just walking into the place was inspirational. It fairly glowed with the patina of literary excellence. For the pub and the Irish writing tradition to go on and on for so many hundreds of years is humbling. In this modern age of digital expression, I sometimes wonder if all the works I and Savage Press are creating will be wiped out in an instant with a single EMP, thus erasing all the hard drives on the planet. If I were guaranteed that such a disaster was certain, I'd still write. And so should you.

www.savpress.com

CONGRATS TO JON A. SEVERSON

2009-02-19T19:07:00.003-06:00

Congrats to Jon Severson on receiving a nomination from the Northeast Minnesota Book Award (NEMBA) in the nonfiction category. Let's hope he wins! Delivered With Pride is a real winner regardless of the outcome. If you want to see more about NEMBA click on: http://www.d.umn.edu/lib/nemba/index.htm.

If you want to see some of the impressive historical photos from inside the book, go to: http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=157

Romantic Ideas: A Last-minute, Low-cost Valentine's Day Gift Idea

2009-02-14T07:21:00.000-06:00

Romantic Ideas: A Last-minute, Low-cost Valentine's Day Gift Idea

HITTING THE BIG TIME

2009-02-13T11:19:00.003-06:00

Meeting with a Savage Press author last Wednesday, she indicated that she'd stumbled upon a sure marker of how she had "arrived." For her, it was the fact that her book was for sale on eBay. "That made my day," she said with obvious pleasure.

Her story reminded me of a visit to the Superior Post office a few years back. The Superior Post office is a good place. Lots of positive energy, something you don't really expect at the P.O. Anyway, there was a clerk there named Kieth who was very droll. He had a crafty grin, but he wasn't real demonstrative. One day I walked up to his "window" and handed him my books to be mailed out for the day. He casually said, "You know Mike. I'm really glad I didn't buy your most recent book."

"Why is that, Keith?"

"Well, last Saturday I found one at a rummage sale for a quarter."

Ohhhh, man. That was so awesome. I knew I'd arrived. My books were selling at rummage sales for a quarter. For me, I'd hit the big time.

What's your threshold for being big time?

Let's Get Melinda Braun on the Ellen Show!!!

2009-02-04T14:04:00.004-06:00

I'm thinking that, if Ellen can get George Clooney on her show by using viral amounts of email, "we" should be able to get Melinda Braun on the Ellen Show by flooding them with emails requesting that the author be on the show.

Here's the deal: National Children's Book Week begins May 12th.

We've offered to give a copy of Melinda Braun's book Luella to audience members of the Ellen show one of those days if they will have Melinda on to tell the sweet, sweet, TRUE story of the orphan duck raised by a Pug named Pancake.

Would you be willing to help make this a reality by emailing Ellen's show and "encouraging" them to have Melinda on as a guest? Tell ALL your friends to do the same. If this goes viral and enough people ask, maybe they'll invite Melinda to the show and she will be able to meet one of her favorite stars. Plus, children around the world will get to know a true story of love and acceptance. Please email Ellen for us! Ask your friends to do the same! Thanks! Go to: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10 and help get the plucky ducky, the pugnacious pug, and the angelic author on Ellen for National Children's Book Week!

Poetry Treasure

2009-01-28T10:45:00.003-06:00

Been upgrading Jeff Lewis' page on the website. Adding text and...hopefully someday...images. Jeff is a great artist as well as a profound poet. Here's a poem from the book section called, "Playing the Rivers Backwards." Click on the title above to hot link to the book's page.

Baptism River

Certainly not the Jordan,
this root beer brown surge,
the anaconda pour,
this tireless roar
into the heads of poets,
the beds of dreamers,
the solitudes of saints
or the hells of madmen.

Certainly I have no squaw to convert,
her beargrease oiled head to immerse,
her loyalties to split between Mighty Manitou
and He who walks across Gitchigume
in tyrant splendor
upon the backs of our enslaved dreams.

I dunk the carburetor of a star.
May you make light knowable,
may you fill our cylinders with photon Cupids,
our dreams with vehicles
we can drive to the bottom of the big lake,
the Big See,
to our childhood museums on the bottom of Begin.

I dunk the typewriter.
May all the old ink wash away,
all the old writing written into us,
all the curses, all the tragedies.
May you now write only the truth
or lies graceful enough
to tempt the Word from its hole,
to rise to the mayfly
in creations complete
and consummated in morninglight.

I baptize thee in the name before names.
I baptize thee in the first creation.
I baptize thee in the language before language—
before all this gibberish
to father the First Nation
of the First People
who speak their own origins.

I baptize the television.
I give it over to the current,
the python of it
I have wrestled to the Pythia One channel
from the Aorta of Words.
The river takes it, an offering,
delivers it to the lake
where in slow motion
it falls gracefully over drop-offs
to land on a ledge
to broadcast a world above
made in the image of our deepest dreams.

VISION OF THE FUTURE OF PUBLISHING

2009-01-27T10:34:00.003-06:00

I had a dream, a dream where people of all races, creeds, wallet size, could become published authors. It wasn't so much a Martin Luther King Jr. dream as it was an Ezekiel Saw the Wheel dream of a future where every literate (and many no-so-literate) persons, places, and things (think spambots) had an audience, a fan base bigger than Mel on Flight of the Conchords. The world wide web will become that world that I saw in my vision. The big publishing houses in New York, London and Superior Wisconsin will toss agents out 50th story windows because the "Internet" will vet all content in the future. If a "manuscript's" website gets more than 30,000 hits the publisher will take the electronic file and bring out the book, pitch it to Oprah if it is fiction all dressed up in non-fiction finery, and sell a hundred thousand copies. Eventually the author will receive a tiny, tiny, portion of the profit, which will be slim to none, because profit margins in publishing are slim, to microscopic. But, the author will have been discovered, the author will have been read, the author will have had the exposure and the deepest longing of any writer gets met. What is that need? The need to connect. That's the beauty of the "Internet," the world-wide-web, the old WWW, an author can sit in his nook and connect with thousands, hundreds of thousands, maybe even one or two, readers/fans without going to those pesky booksignings.

INAUGURAL POEM

2009-01-22T10:42:00.003-06:00

So, what did you think of Elizabeth Alexander's inaugural poem, Praise Song for the Day? Yes, I'm taking a poll. Post a comment and let us all know...did the poem work for you? What about the delivery? Was there a deeper meaning that you've discovered? Post a comment, if you would.

IRISH LIVESTOCK EYES ARE SHINING

2009-01-14T15:02:00.008-06:00

It's that time of year again when plans for the annual Ireland trip are being made. It looks like the end of Feb. first two weeks of March again. Planning on visiting my Irish livestock happily living on the edge of the Burren near Corofin, in the shadow of famed Burren mountain Mulloughmor. The brown donkey in the middle, with the white nose and blaze, is Daisy. I'm half owner of this fine, fantastic, funky, female, four-footer, whose sole purpose in life is supposed to be producing offspring for the profit of her human "owners." The "venture" has yet to produce a foal. This...of course...makes me a "Half-Assed Irish Businessman." It'll be fun to get back to the Burren and all my Irish livestock.

It looks like I might be a doing a Q&A session at next year's Ennis Book Club Festival. Check out this year's schedule: http://www.ennisbookclubfestival.com/. It's a fun event with tons of great author/reader interaction, tours of Ennis, coffee & scones, some Guinness consumption, (well, maybe lots of Guinness consumption) and lots of book talk.

It'll be fun to be back in Clare and do some more work on the Dave Davecki novel "DIERland" where Davecki gets involved in tracking down a band of irritating druid-wannabes who are murdering folks and selling pre-Christian Irish artifacts to the highest bidders in Russia.

Looking inside the Book

2009-01-07T15:59:00.003-06:00

Take a look at the Kat's Magic Bubble page by clicking on the title above. See some of Pegi Ballenger's awesome inside artwork for a book that is both inspirational and courageous. Jeff Lower's story of his daughter's last days is both truly sad and truly inspirational. It took courage for Jeff to give his story to the world. We're thankful for the many reports of how the book has helped families in similar situations.

I'LL PUBLISH IT!

2008-12-30T15:18:00.004-06:00

Okay, so Herman Rosenblat's memoir Angel at the Fence is false. Big deal. A quote I remember, but can't attribute at this time, goes something like: "Surely you must have learned by now, my dear, that all writers are liars." It's called Creative Nonfiction by those who teach writing. So Herman fudged the facts. Again, big deal. Remember weapons of mass destruction? Oh, and what about the Gulf of Tonkin? And just how old was Jack Benny anyway? Hugh Hefner recently released his memoir. Undoubtedly both facts in Hugh's memoir are completely trustworthy and accurate in each detail. After all the hand-wringing concludes, if Hermie is still looking for a publisher, I'll publish it. If it was a great story before the lit-geeks peed their pants, it'll be a great story after all the whuppins and CYA finger pointing ceases.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND TO ALL A GOON DIGHT!

Kontent is King

2008-12-19T09:15:00.003-06:00

Chatting with a fellow from Toronto who had purchased Jon Severson's book, Delivered With Pride, a Pictorial History of the Duluth Winnipeg & Pacific Railroad, prompted some interesting memories. The Canadian railroad buff said that Jon's book, "Tells the story of a monumental task that took courage, hard work, and great ambition to accomplish."

I had to agree on two fronts. Not only does Jon's book illustrate the tremendous amount of ambition and hard work required to build a railroad through some of the most hostile terrain on the planet using technology that looks feeble by today's standards, the fact that the book is published and pleasing its many readers is a testimony to Jon's interest, professionalism, and determination to bring a fine, fine product to market.

The comment also lead me recall something that Pfeiffer-Hamilton publisher Don Tubesing once said to me: "No cry. No buy, Mike." He was saying that, in order to offer a contract to the author, and in order to invest the time and money required to bring a book to market, and in order to believe that a book is going to sell well enough to return a profit on said investment, the content had to move the reader emotionally.

I'm glad that Delivered With Pride does just that.

BLOG INTERVIEW

2008-12-17T05:57:00.001-06:00

Had a fascinating meeting with Ed Newman who interviewed me for his Ennyman blog. Check it out at: http://pioneerproductions.blogspot.com/2008/12/ten-minutes-with-mike-savage.html

Hemingway's Fishing Holes

2008-12-10T07:43:00.005-06:00

Here it is December and the website is getting hits on Hemingway's fishing holes. I love trout fishermen/women. I can see them now, huddled around their fly vice crafting flies that will be totally alluring to the lunker trout hiding in the fishing hole in the bend of the creek. I imagine them strategizing about which river to fish, which section of river to fish, how to get enough time off work to get to that remote fishing hole.

If you know anyone like this, recommend Jay Thurston's book Following in the Footsteps of Ernest Hemingway. It not only reveals some of Papa's favorite fishing holes, it provides 110 trout tips and reveals some of the most action packed rivers and fishing holes in Wisconsin and the U.P.

Keep the trout fires burning people!

SELLING BOOKS IN TODAY'S ECONOMY

2008-12-05T13:01:00.002-06:00

We attended a "holiday bazaar" last night as a vendor and sold four books at steep discounts. There were over 2,000 people present. That seems like a small percentage of sales for that amount of foot traffic, but I'm pleased with the results. Why? Because the other 50 vendors there didn't appear to sell their products very well either, not from what observed, and not according to their reports. At the end of the night, as I strolled around asking how sales went, many vendors said they sold not one item. I'm familiar with vendors understating their sales activity to competing merchants, but I think the gloomy reports were realistic and reflected a tight-fisted public, buying only bargains. I felt blessed to have decided to offer "Bargain Books" for sale and that we sold anything at all. I felt blessed to have stood enough income to cover the registration fee. Thank God for all blessings, the small, and even smaller.

Signing Success!

2008-11-24T10:19:00.003-06:00

Congrats to Jon Severson whose book Delivered With Pride made train-sized appearances at two Duluth, Minnesota bookstores this past weekend. Both Barnes & Noble and Northern Lights Books & Gifts sold through their in-store stock and Jon had to go out to his vehicle to get more books to meet the demand. This "DWP Book" as it is becoming known, looks like it may be a real locomotive. And you know what the means. It's hard to stop a train once it gets going.

5000 Square Foot Model

2008-11-20T10:29:00.002-06:00

Got a great review of the DW&P book from Scott Anderson of Denver, Colorado. He's building a 5,000 square foot O-Scale railroad model of the "PEG" for a client and is finding the content of Jon's book valuable in his work. Thanks Scott.

Selling Books in the Modern Age

2008-11-18T09:05:00.004-06:00

Here's how to sell books in the modern age:

1.) From your office. John F. Saunders sells 25 The Last Spartan http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=156 books a week on average across the counter of his office in Greensboro, N.C. Would that Barnes & Noble could so so well.

2.) Jay Ford Thurston sold 10 Hemingway books at an Eau Claire, WI Trout Unlimited speech that he gave. He sold 20 books at a Mazomanie, WI craft show and then another 10 Out of the Rainbow http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=151 books at two school talks he gave. All this in one week.

An old friend of mine who is a multi-millionaire has said more than once, "Nothing happens unless sombody sells something."

Fun, Funky, Funny WSJ Review

2008-11-10T10:18:00.005-06:00

By Steven B. Beach
JOURNAL BOOK REVIEWER
Published: November 9, 2008

THE LAST SPARTAN. By John F. Saunders. Savage Press. 218 pages. $24.95.

As I read the last sentence of The Last Spartan, a chill ran down my spine. In the day I spent reading this novel, my pulse had accelerated, my emotions had stirred and my engrossment meter had repeatedly pegged to red-line. But mostly, I'd simply enjoyed a wild ride trying to keep up with the pace of this story featuring Frank Kane, ex-enforcer for the Spartans motorcycle gang. Upon learning that the author, John F. Saunders, is also a Greensboro dentist, I decided to make an appointment and ask the question that has been asked of authors since time immemorial:
SB: Aaah, oooh -- ah, thanks for taking your hands out of my mouth. I was asking what possessed you to write such a novel?
JS: I was complaining to my wife, Lynn, about paying hard-earned money for a book, spending irretrievable time reading it, only to be disappointed by the whole experience. I told her I believed I could write a better novel than many that are being published today. Lynn responded with: "Then why don't you?" Next thing I knew I was spending evenings doing just that. The Last Spartan is the result.
SB: OK, it's a novel about biker gangs, prostitution and efforts toward redemption of one biker with a particularly violent history. How did you come up with the Spartan theme?
JS: Besides studying dentistry, I also majored in Greek history while attending UNC Chapel Hill. I've always been intrigued by the Spartans. They were unique in that they were a culture of warfare. Unlike their neighbors at the time, they didn't farm, weave or make pottery; they were all soldiers. They had slaves and the spoils of war to supply all that other stuff. There's never been another culture so centered on warfare. It made sense to write about modern times for a modern audience; it was a small step, then, to connect the Spartan backdrop to modern-day people who also use violence to achieve their goals. Outlaw bikers fit the bill.
SB: In my experience as a motorcycle enthusiast, I've attended biker rallies and known some rough bikers. It's easy for me to imagine a gang called the Spartans, and it's easy to imagine a guy who could be so fixated with actual Spartans that he would adopt their code. But for an entire gang to be so taken by the idea as to address each other with the names of the Greek gods, I felt like you were stretching it a bit. What do you say to that?
JS: Rinse and spit; I think I'll pull all your teeth now. Seriously, imagine living so outside the constraints of the law that you make your own law, you shape lives, you're untouchable, it's all about respect. What's the ultimate respect? You're a god.
SB: Fair enough -- but get away from me with theose pliers. Overall, I must say I enjoyed your novel. I liked the fact that Frank Kane lives in Greensboro and much of the action takes place in Atlanta. Do you intend to write more novels?
JS: I hoped you'd ask that question, since I'll be at the Winston-Salem Barnes and Noble bookstore from 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 16, for a book signing, and I want everyone to know I'll have plenty of books to sign and sell. After that, it's back to work on the next book in the Frank Kane series, The Spartan Negotiator, which is nearly finished.
SB: Well, based on how much I enjoyed The Last Spartan, I look forward to reading it. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. Oh, and thanks for the floss.
Besides the bookstores, you can also buy this novel at savpress.com.
■ Steven Beach is a writer who lives in Lawsonville.

DWP = Delighted With Product

2008-11-02T19:55:00.004-06:00

A nice steady stream of orders are coming in for Jon Severson's book Delivered with Pride.

DWP= Don't Withhold Purchase.

DWP = Do Write (your) Pals about this great book.

DWP = Definitely Want Plenty (of books for gifts this Christmas).

DWP = Delighted With Purchase.

DWP = a Down Write Pretty book.

Send more DWP acronyms, if you would.

New Book Out NOW

2008-10-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

Jon Severson's fantastic railroad book about the history of the Duluth, Winnipeg and Pacific Railroad is now available. What a sweet book. Totally cool. 240 glossy pages of fantastic information, stories, photos, old newspaper articles, facts, and figures. And priced at only $24.95, it is a true value. Tell your pals about it, please.

Rinse and Spit People

2008-10-07T10:32:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you wonder if publishing a book has any effect on the wide world out there. The good news is, good news travels far. Lee Andresen, author of Battle Notes: Music of the Vietnam War wrote recently to say that his book has been selling in South Africa. Not too long ago, Jeff Lower, author of Kat's Magic Bubble informed us that his book had gone to Russia...with love. These advances for individual books remind me of the saying, "I worked thirty years to become an overnight success." One day at a time, little by little, good books find their way to appreciative readers. Teddy Roosevelt said, "Do what you can with what you have where you are." This is what Savage Press books are doing every day wherever they are. They're saying what the author intended by speaking to the readers they find regardless of place. When you get a chance, wherever you are, by whatever means at your disposal, mention a Savage Press book to someone, tell someone to visit the website, promote a specific title, spread the news! Pretend your words of praise are peanut butter on bread, spread it on thick and often!

You could say, "Geeze, I read this great little children's book about a duck and a dog and doggone it if my kids didn't love it."

You could say, "You know, I was fishing around for a present for my husband and caught a great trout fishing book by a guy from Wisconsin named Jay Thurston."

While waiting for a dental appointment you could say, "I heard about this great new thriller out that has a powerful anti-hero named Frank Kane in it. Written by a dentist from Greensboro, North Carolina."

Rinse and spit people...spit it out about Savage Press, Savage Press authors, and Savage Press books.

And...THANKS!

Complain Your way to Riches?

2008-09-29T09:42:00.003-05:00

I've been hearing some complaints about the state of publishing these days. "Too many books being published." "Too much competition" "The quality of contemporary writing is too low." Well, what would you complainers prefer? The old days when only a handful of writers were published? Publishing is a pendulum. We're on the far end of a huge swing in the direction of everyone with a computer can be published. Forget books. It's the Internet, the Web, Blogging. Cell phone publishing. If you want to "be published" start a blog, get your website up. If you want your deathless prose ensconced between the pages of a physical book, fine. Get thee to a POD publisher and have at it. But realize that, "being published" does not mean your book will be bought. As I said in the previous post, if somebody doesn't sell it, it won't be sold. As the MaD Goddess pointed out in her comment on the previous post, just because you "build it" (self publish), they may not come a runnin' with their wallets/checkbooks open and the cash flying magically into your hand. I say, get it out there any way you can and let the customers (readers/viewers/listeners) decide if they want to reward you in some way. Silent praise may be all you get in return for opening your vein and your wallet to "be published." Good luck, have some fun along the way, and, if you must, complain away because complaining is good for the soul, but not necessarily good for the bank balance.

The Difference Between Marketing and Selling

2008-09-23T19:41:00.003-05:00

Selling a book is different than writing a book. Marketing a book is different than selling a book. Do you know the difference between selling and marketing? Marketing a book is telling someone about it. You can send a flyer to bookstores telling them about the book. This is simple sharing of information. Once you've informed the bookstore manager, buyer, (make sure you're sending the info to the correct person) not the vice president of dingle-berry procurment, then someone has to call on that person and make a sale. It's called closing the sale. "How many copies can we send you?" "Are you interested in buying any copies today?" "If you buy today, we'll knock off the shipping cost." "Just don't hang up...please! Please buy some books from me today. If you don't my wife is going to leave me and move in with the woman she has been having an affair with...please, Please, PLEASE, buy some books from me today!" You know, the subtle approach. Good luck. Remember the difference between marketing and selling and don't go super-depressed if your book doesn't sell. Remember, if nobody sells it, it won't get sold.

Solid SoundBites Blurb

2008-09-11T11:34:00.001-05:00

Kathy Kerchner's book got this solid review on Hotel Resource:

A great job of giving the inside scoop I don't know the author, so this is a real review. She's done a wonderful job helping me to understand and work with the media. This book is easy to read, well written and offers sound advice. I've already gotten my money's worth and I'm only half-way through it. If you're looking for a book on dealing with the media - this is the one to get!

Click:
http://www.hotelresource.com/bookstore/asinsearch_1886028303.html
see more good comments about SoundBites.

New Book Soon

2008-09-02T20:54:00.003-05:00

Geeze, here it is September already and no posts since way back in August. Larry's gonna be mad. Anyway, we're working hard and long on getting the new book for fall out. Delivered With Pride: A Pictorial History of the Duluth Winnipeg & Pacific Railroad by Jon A. Severson of Esko, Minnesota. John is a working railroad man who puts his shifts in at the Cloquet Transfer Railroad and then spends some free time working on railroad history. This is his first book. 240 pages of period and contemporary photos, historic newspaper accounts of the DW&P and his own current commentary and reporting. It is going to be a doozy. Check it out and tell your friends who are history and/or railroad buffs.

Rinse and Spit Steven! REVIEW in Winston-Salem Journal

2008-08-18T16:46:00.003-05:00

The Last Spartan
By John F. Saunders
Savage Press
218 pages
Reviewed by Steven B. Beach

As I read the last sentence of The Last Spartan, a chill ran down my spine - AGAIN. In the day I spent reading this relatively short novel, my pulse had accelerated, my emotions had stirred, and my engrossment meter had repeatedly pegged to red-line. But mostly, I’d simply enjoyed a wild ride trying to keep up with the reckless pace of this story featuring Frank Kane, ex-enforcer for the Spartans motorcycle gang. Upon learning that the author, John F. Saunders, is also a Greensboro dentist, I decided to look him up and ask the question that has been asked of authors since time immemorial:

S.B. “What possessed you to write such a novel?”

J.S. “I was complaining to my wife, Lynn, about paying hard earned money for a book, spending irretrievable time reading it, only to be disappointed by the whole experience. I told her I believed I could write a better novel than many that are being published today. Lynn responded with: ‘Then why don’t you?’ Next thing I knew I was spending evenings doing just that. The Last Spartan is the result.”

S.B. “Okay, it’s a novel about biker gangs, prostitution and efforts toward redemption of one biker with a particularly violent history. How did you come up with the Spartan theme?”

J.S. “Besides studying dentistry, I also majored in Greek history while attending UNC Chapel Hill. I’ve always been intrigued by the Spartans. They were unique in that they were a culture of warfare. Unlike their neighbors at the time, they didn’t farm, weave, or make pottery, they were all soldiers. They had slaves and the spoils of war to supply all that other stuff. There’s never been another culture so centered on warfare. It made sense to write about modern times for a modern audience; it was a small step, then, to connect the Spartan backdrop to modern-day people who also use violence to achieve their goals. Outlaw bikers fit the bill.”

S.B. “In my experience as a motorcycle enthusiast, I’ve attended biker rallies and known some pretty rough bikers. It’s easy for me to imagine a gang called the Spartans, and it’s easy to imagine a guy who could be so fixated with actual Spartans that he would base his life on them. But for an entire gang to be so taken by the idea as to address each other with the names of the Greek gods and to sit in carved thrones during the big meeting – well, I felt like you were stretching it a bit. What do you say to that?

J.S. “Rinse and spit, Steven, everyone else loves that part. Seriously, I felt that…”

S.B. “Fair enough. Overall, I must say I enjoyed your novel and most of it was very realistic. I liked the fact that Frank Kane lives in Greensboro and much of the action takes place in Atlanta, where I grew up. What are your plans for the future? Do you intend to write any more novels?”

J.S. “I hoped you’d ask that question since I’ll be at the Winston-Salem Barnes and Noble book store in August for a book signing, and I want everyone to know I’ll have plenty books to sign and sell. After that, it’s back to work on the next book in the Frank Kane series, which I hope to finish soon.

S.B. “Well, based on how much I enjoyed The Last Spartan, I look forward to reading it. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. Oh, and thanks for the floss.”

The Good The Bad The Ugly

2008-08-05T11:05:00.002-05:00

The Good: Jay Ford Thurston, author of Following in the Footsteps of Ernest Hemingway and Out of the Rainbow, has continued to sell books a the Viroqua, Wisconsin (his home town) Farmer's Market. There amongst the vegetables is Jay's portable bookstore. Way to go Jay.

The Bad: The book biz seems slower these days. Less website activity...possibly due to summertime fun. Fewer distributor orders...possibly due to summertime fun. Generally less book buzz...possibly due to summertime fun.

The Ugly: Returns. Oh how I hate returns. The bookstores and distributors have a free ride. They can return any title at any time for any reason and guess who pays? The publisher. Plus, the distributors bitch about inadequate packaging and then they return big boxes of books that are unprofessionally packaged and virtually sans protection to the point where 99% of all returned books are un-re-sellable. Guess who just got a big shipment of returned books?

All in all, though...life is good. Let's make it better.

God Now Assisting The Last Spartan

2008-07-25T11:07:00.003-05:00

John Saunders wrote to say:

My minister's wife read the book and liked it. Her husband told me he was looking forward to reading it, but that his wife had told him it would take a long time to finsih. I replied that it was really a quick read. He said he'd heard it was a quick read but his wife had said he would have to stop every couple of pages to pray for me.

COOL!

TLS REVIEWS

2008-07-10T19:10:00.000-05:00

Brian Clarey, reviewer for Yes Weekly says of THE LAST SPARTAN: "Packed with Plot." And, "...a great summer read."

What Sallee Kelly about THE LAST SPARTAN: An Excellent Read! Held my attention from the first sentence, to regrettably the very last – just did not want it to end. I have and will continue to recommend The Last Spartan to all my friends and colleagues. This book must be shared. I look forward to following more of Frank Kane’s divergences on his way to finding inner peace and redemption from a past he cannot hide from, nor change. A most interesting character…and enjoyable book.

TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE

2008-07-09T12:41:00.000-05:00

Jeff Lower, author of Kat's Magic Bubble called to report that two copies of his book are going to Russia as the result of contacts he has made. KMB has gone International! Yes! Awesome!

MEET THE AUTHOR

2008-07-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

John Saunders' book The Last Spartan is getting good reviews in Greensboro local newspapers. Stand-by for gleanings from them. In the meantime, if you want to contact John personally by e-mail use Spartanrider@live.com. He is available for book clubs via the Internet and if you have questions about the book.

MASTER YOUR MESSAGE

2008-06-25T10:43:00.003-05:00

Take a look at Kathy Kerchner's fantastic website at http://www.masteryourmessage.com/. The author of SoundBites: A Business Guide for Working with the Media (Revised 2nd Edition), Kathy has an awesome blog and some outstanding advice for anyone needing to know about media relations.

Kat's Magic Bubble "DONATION" Flyer successful

2008-06-19T10:42:00.002-05:00

The flyer promoting Kat's Magic Bubble by Jeff Lower and illustrated by Pegi Ballenger is returning some results. SMDC Hospital in Duluth ordered three books for their Grief Support Library. If you know of anyone in a hospital or church setting that might be able to use KMB in their ministry, let us know.

Also, we're starting to put together a promotional packet for Luella, to make the ducky little book known for Christmas. We're thinking of mailing out something duck-like and/or pug-like with some sample pages of Mindy's great art, or...? Any suggestions? We're also discussing target audience. My suggestion of Duck's Unlimited members, got limited enthusiasm. Any suggestions for a target audience that does not include ducks as the target would be welcome.

Spartan Buzz Pays Off

2008-06-13T13:22:00.002-05:00

John Saunder's book signing at the Friendly Center Barnes & Noble in Greensboro was a rousing success according to store personnel who said it was one of the best signings they've ever had. It went so well, John had to go out to the parking lot and fetch an additional 35 copies from his trunk to supplement the store's stock.

Way to go John! Congrats...now BASK in the feeling of accomplishment and enjoy your reward for a job well done. The Last Spartan is going to provide excellent summer reading for a lot of people.

SPARTAN BUZZ

2008-06-09T21:45:00.002-05:00

John Saunders and The Last Spartan are creating quite a buzz in Greensboro. Saunders was on Murphy in the Morning drive-time radio show this morning and had a blast. And the Barnes & Noble stores in Greensboro are consistently sold out of The Last Spartan. This "failure" (if it can be called a failure at all) to have the book in stock bodes well for future sales as demand is high and ongoing. Saunders' signing this coming Thursday at the Friendly Center Barnes & Noble promises to be exciting!

And in a development that is incredibly fortuitous, The Last Spartan is being looked at by a Hollywood producer who heard about Frank Kane from a friend who said the anti-hero would make a great big impression on the big screen, especially if played by The Rock.

Cool stuff.

Prison Awakening

2008-06-05T13:21:00.002-05:00

The TV show Prison Break has nothing on Jill Downs' book Awakening of the Heart. Late last week a mom from Florida called and said she had been reading Jill's book over the phone to her son in prison. The son had only five minutes of call time for each call so it was slow going. And he loved the book. So she called and explained that the rules did not allow her to send him a copy but that he could receive a copy directly from the publisher. We were happy to oblige and now feel like there may well be hearts awakening in the state pen in Jacksonville. I'm thinking the moral of the story is, why break out when you can set your heart free from the inside.

SPI NEWS ITEMS

2008-06-04T15:18:00.005-05:00

Tori Spelling owns a pug. She's also a new mom. And she's also getting a promotional copy of Luella. As Jessica Radzak our editor/promotions director said, "It can't hurt to have a copy of Luella floating around Tinsletown." I'm hoping Tori loves the book so much she'll help us promote it to all her A-list pals.

The Kat's Magic Bubble mailing to hospitals and churches is about ready to go into the mail. If you have any names, any names at all that you think should be on our mailing list, send them in ASAP. This includes friends, relatives, pastors, grief counselors...whomever...send us your poor, your wretched, your huddled masses of addresses.

The Last Spartan is getting some notice on Amazon. Go there and check it out. Leave a review behind.

Readers Are Leaders

2008-05-30T10:16:00.003-05:00

Saw the slogan "Readers Are Leaders" on the side of a Levy Distributing truck a few years back and have been using it off and on for various reasons and in various ways ever since. Thougt of it this morning again when speaking with a woman who said, "I don't own a Television. All I do is read." And guess what? She's manages a business. Now, I suppose there are a lot of leaders who don't read, but I'm guessing that there are more who do. If you have the option of watching TV this weekend or reading, try reading. Who knows where such a choice might lead. You may become President some day!

Building Subscribers List/Going Viral

2008-05-28T10:37:00.003-05:00

Hey All:

Here's some news about Savage Press.
Last week nine new subscribers joined the SPI Blog.
Would you be willing to get one friend to successfully subscribe to the SPI blog this week?
It would be a great thing to keep adding new subscribers weekly. Hopefully there is sufficiently fascinating content to keep people interested. We'll do our part.
Here's some additional SPI information:

1.) So far this year March was the most active month for Individual Book Visits to the SPI website. There were a total of 654 individual book visits in March.
2.) Last week there were 715 individual website pages viewed.
3.) On average people are viewing 35 "unique titles" weekly.

Seven unique book views a day is not viral by any means, but it is good, solid, consistent visitation to the range of titles offered. Battle Notes: Music of the Vietnam War is the most visited. With baseball season starting up Off Season and The Year of the Buffalo Marshall Cook's baseball novels are getting solid unique visits as well. Cook's Hometown Wisconsin is also getting looked at regularly.

If you are an SPI author and want to "encourage" your friends to promote your title by visiting the site, it would do wonders to increase your book's "visibility" on the net.

I'll always remember with fondness the advice given to me by the wise John Kuderle who was the SPI book buyer at Bookmen in Minneapolis. I asked him what was the best way to sell books, he answered dryly, "Mike, there are three rules to selling books. They are: One. Promotion. Two. Promotion. And, three. Promotion."

If everyone in the Savage Press family does one little thing daily to promote titles and the site, eventually we'll go viral and we would have to see how that fits us. Nicely, I presume. It would fit us all nicely, I'm sure.

Kat's Magic Bubble Mailing

2008-05-27T16:21:00.003-05:00

Hey all, we're putting together a direct mail piece for Kat's Magic Bubble to be sent out in a couple of weeks. We're offering a "Buy One/Get One Free" coupon so there's a book bargain in the deal for some folks. We've got a nice long list of hospitals, pediatric units, and churches as our target customers. Would you be willing to submit potential "customers" to whom we can send our sales packet? Thanks tons.

The Last Spartan "sold out" at B&N Greensboro

2008-05-23T10:06:00.001-05:00

Word from Greensboro NC is that John F. Saunders' book, The Last Spartan has sold out at the Barnes & Noble in The Friendly Center. AWESOME!

THURSTON PADDLES ONWARD!

2008-05-22T10:23:00.003-05:00

Jay Ford Thurston (I love that middle name), author of Following in the Footsteps of Ernest Hemingway and Out of the Rainbow just sent an email saying that the Vernon County Broadcaster the local newspaper there in Viroqua, Wisconsin, is featuring FIVE articles about him and his partner Mike Kinziger's attempt to break their own record paddling the entire length of the Wisconsin River that they set 25 years ago when Jay was just a spring chicken of 50-years-old!

Check it out at www.vernonbroadcaster.com

SPARTAN Buzz Building

2008-05-20T15:13:00.004-05:00

Tis nice indeed to see a plan come together. John F. Saunders' new book, The Last Spartan is getting some good advance notice and some downright excellent exposure in the Greensboro, NC media. He recently wrote to say that the host of the widely acclaimed Murphy in the Morning drive-time radio talk show read the book and loved it. John is scheduled to be a guest on the talk show on June 12th, the morning before the national book launch at the Barnes & Noble store at the Friendly Center in Greensboro.

If you would please pass this on, maybe The Last Spartan has a chance to go viral and end up as a movie with The Rock playing Frank Kane.

Pass it on, please.

GOOD REVIEW OF LUELLA

2008-05-14T15:43:00.001-05:00

Luella by Melinda Braun got a nice review in Mankato State's review periodical, The Corresponder. Reviewer Teresa Bolstadt said, "Braun's watercolor and ink illustrations are sure to keep a child's attention with their elaborate details and often humorous depictions. The text is easy to follow and would make a great read aloud bedtime story.

Children's Book Week

2008-05-13T11:23:00.002-05:00

It is Children's Book Week from May 12 through May 18. Would you be willing to do something for our favorite children's books, "Luella" and "Kat's Magic Bubble" Tell a friend or two to buy either of these awesome books. Both these books richly reward the reader.

Learn more about CBW at:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_6103862_33?ie=UTF8&docId=1000205901&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-4&pf_rd_r=10B51NFWVJJVRZC7X87G&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=393189101&pf_rd_i=4

See Kat's Magic Bubble at:
http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=154

See Luella at:
http://www.savpress.com/Details.asp?ProductID=155

If you want to forward these URLs to all your friends and ask them to do the same, maybe they'll go all viral on us and let the web world know about two fantastic books.

Impressive Young Authors

2008-04-18T15:20:00.002-05:00

Had a wonderful morning "teaching" a writing workshop to middle school students. Teaching is in quotes because they taught me more than I taught them. There were seven in my section. A couple of these kids were genuis. All of them had been published in the workshop anthology. They all read their work and spoke honestly about their feelings regarding writing and the particular piece they read. One was fearful of being misunderstood. One was impatient with the assignment. One explained how his mind went back and forth while writing and that he had to go back and move stanzas around to make it more orderly. There were about 100 kids in attendance and I'm guessing they were all as talented as those in our section. It was a totally energizing morning and really met my need for inspiration.

They Weren't Eating Colby Cheese

2008-04-07T14:24:00.001-05:00

If I could retire, and if I could win the lottery, and if I could afford the gas with all that lotto money, which, by the time I win the lotto, gas will be a hundred thousand dollars a gallon. Regardless, if I had the time and money one thing I’d do is do nothing but drive around Wisconsin visiting all the towns with unique names, I would do so in a New York minute. I wonder if there is a town in New York named Minute?

Be that as it may, you probably know of a few towns in northern Wisconsin with unique, odd, or funky names. What you may not know is that our fair state is absolutely replete with interesting town names.

There are so many remarkable town names that I made up a little story for you using 67 different town names gleaned from the geography of our fair state. Most of them are north of U.S. Highway 8, but not all. Each italicized word is a town name.

It was a dark and stormy night (really) when Augusta wind rattled the Smith family serenity.
Ino that Loretta and Oliver were Gile-less regarding Tony’s Highbridge experience with Lady…Irma…Smith. But they were Slingers of truth and could not remain silent. They had to sound the Siren, and Viola! instant family soap opera.

You see, last Winter, Lady Smith’s Bloomers were found in Island Lake, instead of her Dresser. For, you see, it was a very Clear Lake. Thus, it was a chilly Enterprise when Oliver and Loretta informed Irma’s Fair…child Adam(s), who is a Potter by trade, and his brothers Stanley and Bruce and Hammond that Tony and Irma had spent some quality time together in the Abbot’s Ford. And they weren’t eating Colby cheese. Thankfully Lady Smith is Barron.

The Smith family Loyalty was shattered, resulting in severe disUnity that Fostered Embarrassment all around. It was so stressful that all four boys had to take a Knapp. But first Loretta gave them each an Almond Joy candy bar to settle their nerves and keep them from going into Shiocton.

Good news travels fast and bad news travels faster. And this story was a Hustler. Soon the Smith family cousins Hazel with her Green eyes, Cecil, Brandon, and Boyd, were considering a Niagara of options, including stuffing the Abbot into a Little Chute. By the way, there has always been some speculation that Hazel, because of her Green eyes might really be Roth(s)child. Be that as it may, the Cascade of choices for revenge was Gratiot (pardon the liberty, but this is fiction and I’m no James Frey) but the cousins Lena-d toward mercy.

Tony and Irma’s Wentwasn’tworth much after the disclosure. In fact, Tony considered fleeing to Athens or possibly Belgium, or at least Norway. (Which is actually in Michigan, but so close to Wisconsin, it counts). But, as Luck would have it, the Spirit(ual) Abbot, who was a Baldwin, called his mentor Roberts. Owen to the fact that Roberts got a Worden edgewise he Fostered civility between the antagonists. After a resounding Pepin talk the Abbot got Withee it and eschewed fleeing to Scandinavia.

It was Plain to see that the Abbot and the Lady were remorseful and so, Adam’s Friendship was Granted amidst a Cornucopia of Reserve when the sad Abbot gave everyone concerned a Wild Rose, that they all Sharon and shared alike.

And everyone lived happily ever after in the Dreamland of Wisconsin’s Dairyland.
I’m Mike Savage, and I’m Darien to be done.

Choc-O-Cars

2008-03-31T16:37:00.003-05:00

The Perfect Biofuel

I’ve been accused recently of being flippant about serious social ills. So, being a flaming co-dependant, people-pleasing suck up, today I embark on a campaign to convince my critics that humor is capable of solving real life problems. The first vital social contribution I’m going to make to society is to suggest that cars be converted to run on chocolate.

I know the technology exists. I saw on TV last week that they’ve created another bionic woman, so creating a “chocolate car” should be easy. There is no doubt in my mind that, if Dick Cheney wanted to, he could force Halliburton engineers to chew enough cocoa leaves for conversion to biofuel. There is nothing that corporate American cannot do.

General Motors created a perfectly good electric car, the EV-1. And then they scrapped it because the price of oil was too low.

Kenny Lay and Jeffey Skillings of Enron created mythical power shortages that created real live rolling blackouts that made the lives of millions of Californians miserable.

Kevin Costner built a baseball field in the middle of an Iowa cornfield and millions of mystic people came.

A chocolate-fueled car is the answer to a lot of problems, folks. Number one, it would be great for the economy. If cars ran on chocolate, at today’s prices, it would cost $1,800 dollars to fill an average car’s tank. Not only would that pump a lot of extra dollars into the economy, it would make Nestle Corporation as rich as Exxon and Hershey as big as Halliburton.

Another good thing converting to chocolate cars would accomplish is, when the Hershey Valdez tanker runs aground near a pristine wilderness it won’t cost a dime to clean up. Millions of choc-o-holics will flock to the area and binge and binge and binge until it’s all gone.

Oooh, think of this. Maybe Barbara Hershey would run for president. I’d vote for her before Hillary.

I can practically smell the sweet exhaust of the chocolate car. Won’t that be a wonderful aroma? Imagine billions and billions of automobiles belching chocolate exhaust. Sweet man, sweet indeed. A chocolate car would pretty much solve the problem of global warming instantly.

Of course, if it cost $1,800 bucks to fill a car’s tank, maybe people would start walking to work and the American obesity crisis would be solved. Health insurance rates would go down. Hospitals could downsize and doctors could travel overseas to practice on the poor.

Obviously, if the demand for chocolate skyrocketed as a result of every car in the world needing chocolate for fuel, the supply of cocoa leaves for cocaine would plummet. There you go, the war on drugs is won, not by force of arms, but by force of chocolate.

Okay, I have a hint for any of the presidential candidates who might be searching for a way to boost their ratings. Adding a chocolate car plank to their platform would virtually insure victory in the upcoming election. When is that election anyway? Sometime in my lifetime I hope. I’m praying to God that Dennis Kucinich wins. It is high time that this country has a 29-year-old First Lady with a tongue stud. I don’t care if she’s two feet taller than her man. All I care about is that this country NEVER has a man for a First Lady. When the First Lady is in reality the First Laddie, life as we know it will have ceased to exist.

Here’s something to think about. Jobs. Jobs in Superior. Not Steven Jobs of Apple Computer fame. He wouldn’t bother coming to town, unless, of course, UW-Superior offered him an honorary degree or something. You never know, Stevie might want to run for Governor of California some day. I’m talking actual high paying jobs for energetic, hard working Superiorites.

Because this fantastic idea originated in good old Soup Town, Nestle would be pretty much obligated to build their chocolate conversion refinery and World Headquarters here wouldn’t they? After all, they’re already sucking the Great Lakes dry of water, they owe us, don’t they?
So, to burn this idea of a chocolate car into the American psyche, I’ve made up a little jingle designed to worm its way into your subconscious. Make sure you don’t remember the (reverse psychology in action here) following Longfellowesqe bit of doggerel:

Chocolate cars a future that
The fuel crisis will combat.
Chocolate cars save habitat
Chocolate cars won’t make us fat.

Life is good. Let’s make it better. I’m Mike Savage, and I’m done.

CHILDREN, FRENDS, FAMILY, FAITH

2008-03-12T09:18:00.001-05:00

One reason we're proud of books like Kat's Magic Bubble and Luella is that they put the focus on children. Got yet another interesting email yesterday from one of our authors who is an emergency room physician. He said, basically...

"Been a bad weekend, had to live through seeing an eight-year-old who suffered 3rd degree burns over his entire body. Only the soles of his feet were unburned. What matters in life is your children, your wife, your friends, your family."

Experiencing such trauma changes you permanently forver. It is a good thing that Kat's Magic Bubble and Luella remind us of the beauty of children, wives, friends, family, and faith.